Makes Fools of Us All
by fangirl05
Summary: Pitch goes against everything he believes in for the sake of the spirit he loves.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I first got the idea for this after finding some smutty 30-day OTP challenge thing online (no, not _the_ 30-day OTP challenge), one of the last few of which was to come up with a threesome. At first I thought of doing a Jack/Pitch/Tooth piece, but then I was all "No, Pitch/Jack/Bunny!" Just 'cause it would screw with Pitch's head more.**

**And Pitch's head is so much fun to screw with })**

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Bunnymund's ear was getting in the way of him leaving a love bite on Jack's neck. Remind Pitch why he'd agreed to do this, again?

Jack was currently sandwiched between him and the pooka, rutting against the latter while he suckled his chest. Pitch watched in disgust as the rabbit caught Jack's nipple between his front teeth, then went to card his own fingers through Jack's hair and tug his head back, sighing in his ear the way he knew he liked.

"Sensitive, ain't ya, frostbite?" Bunny purred, "Thought Pitch would've worked that outta ya by now."

"_What the hell are you implying, fleabag_?!"

Pitch noticed how tightly he was squeezing Jack's skull at the moment and relaxed his fingers to comb them through Jack's hair again. He cleared his throat at the anger in his voice and quickly composed himself. "Let's not forget who's who here, shall we?"

Jack whined and bucked his hips forward. Bunny smirked at Pitch and rubbed the thumbs of his paw-hands soothingly over Jack's pelvic bones.

"Looks like yer the only one complaining, mate."

Pitch was almost glad when the rabbit pulled Jack's hips closer. It helped hide that he was going soft watching this.

While Pitch reached down to massage Jack's buttocks, Bunny smoothed his hands up and down his sides. Pitch kissed up the side of Jack's neck slowly, watching as the pooka kissed the center of his sternum.

The cleft of his ribcage.

His navel.

_The top of his pubic hair._

"Fuck it, I'm not doing this!" Pitch roared, "Get out of my bed!"

Pitch snatched Jack against his chest and rammed his leg into some part of Bunnymund. Judging by the dampness he felt on the sole of his foot, he guessed it was his face. Excellent.

The force of the blow knocked the pooka off the bed. Dazed and rubbing his nose, he looked up through narrowed eyes at Pitch, who was still clinging to Jack possessively.

"Go screw one of your egg statues!" he barked, "Get out of my home!"

Bunnymund fell through a hole in the floor that was gone as soon as it had appeared. Pitch flipped them over and slammed Jack into the mattress when he was gone.

Jack wasn't exactly thrilled. "What the-"

"Shut up" Pitch snarled, "You smell like a pet carrier. I've got work to do."

Pitch was halfway through cleansing Jack's torso with his lips and tongue and breath when it dawned on him:

"You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?"

Jack grinned at him, out of breath but unrepentant. "Well, I didn't think you'd hold out as long as you did."

They spent a few seconds staring at each other - Jack smug, Pitch blank-faced - before a small ocean of sand slithered up around the lower half of Jack's arms and legs. It bent his legs at the knees and spread them apart while his arm ties fixed to the wall. Another tendril wormed its way into his mouth and filled it, leaving him able to breathe but not move his tongue. The impromptu gag fixed itself together around the back of his head.

With Jack's restrains secured, Pitch took the younger spirit's dying erection into his hand, tilting Jack's head to make him watch while he jerked him off. He waited until the boy's eyes fluttered shut and his head rolled to the side the way they did when he was getting close to coming.

Jack's eyes opened first in confusion and some betrayal at the loss of Pitch's hand, then widened in horror when he realized what Pitch meant to do. He gasped and tugged at his restraints, only to find that he couldn't move his limbs half an inch.

While he struggled against the sand, already feeling pain start to mount in his testes, Pitch masturbated quickly to the thought of what Jack had looked and sounded like underneath him after he'd thrown the rabbit out. After satisfying himself, he had the sand levitate Jack a few inches off the mattress and tugged the blankets up over his shoulders.

"Good night, Jack" he told him sweetly.

Jack may have tried to say something in reply, but by then Pitch's ears were too full of sand to hear it.

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**A/N: So, whatta you think: Does Pitch's agreeing to a threesome with somebody he hates make him a good enough boyfriend to make up for him leaving Jack bound and gagged with blue balls?**

**I think so.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This came to me yesterday after I'd posted the first part. It sounded like too much fun in my head to pass up.**

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Pitch didn't feel a cold spot against his back when he woke up the next morning. The abnormality of it left him confused at first, but then he remembered exactly what had happened the night before and he smiled, very pleased with himself.

He looked over his shoulder and there was Jack, still suspended a foot in the air and looking at Pitch like he wanted to kill him. He _had_ tried to freeze Pitch solid a few times overnight, but he'd never been very good at working his magic without his staff.

"Good morning, Jack" Pitch said brightly. He sat up and stretched, locking his fingers together and curving forward until his joints and several of his disks cracked satisfyingly. "I don't know about you, but I slept like a rock."

As he spoke, Jack's sand bonds lowered him onto the mattress and retreated. He spat a last few grains out of his mouth, still glaring claymores at Pitch. "You're a dick" he reminded him.

"And_ you're_ very lucky to still have yours attached" Pitch returned. Jack scowled and went to climb out of bed, but Pitch grabbed his face too hard in one hand and yanked his head around to face him. The rough treatment made his placid smile all the more worrisome.

"I assure you, I will never be so generous again."

He let the threat sink in for a few seconds, then patted Jack's speechless cheek and bounced out of bed. He stretched his arms over his head and stood on his tiptoes while the darkness under the bed oozed up over his back into his coat.

"So," he looked back at Jack when his clothes were in place, "Can I make you breakfast?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Stop writing yourself, dammit!**

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Say what you will about Pitch, the guy could cook.

He and Jack sat on either ends of the table, both with a short stack of pancakes and berries in front of them. The similarities stopped there; Pitch was working his way easily through his breakfast, ignoring the ice that had crackled across the table between them. Jack had left his own food untouched in favor of trying to kill Pitch with his eyes again, only somewhat conscious of the ice he was making work its way toward him.

They might have stayed that way if Pitch's trying to drink his coffee hadn't revealed it was frozen solid. He shot Jack a slightly impatient look.

"Would you at least _try_ to be mature?" he went back to spearing his berries, since the coffee wasn't an option, "I'm trying to enjoy my food, here."

Jack's upper lip twitched in fury. "You left me tied up all night!"

"And _you_ brought someone I hate into my bed just to play mind games" Pitch shot back with a dark look. They glowered at each other in silence for a short while, until Pitch remembered he was the technical adult here and sat back.

"Let's both agree that we did terrible things by each other last night" he decided. He may have been seeing things, but it looked like Jack nodded. "But you know..." He dipped his knife into the syrup on his plate and traced spirals into it that vanished instantly. "I never meant not to make up for it."

That got Jack's attention. Pitch flexed his brow at the boy's surprised expression.

"Yeah?"

Aww, he was so cute when he was suspicious. Pitch purposefully dropped his knife, ducked down to "retrieve it," and reappeared behind Jack's chair. He tipped the surprised young Guardian's face up with one hand while the other smoothed over his chest.

"Do you want me to repay you now?"

Jack blinked up at him in reply. Pitch sighed and lowered his head closer to Jack's and slid his hand down his thigh.

"Tough" Pitch said suddenly. He patted Jack's thigh roughly and turned on his heel. "You have Guardian things to do."

Jack's blindsided self looked over back the back of his chair at Pitch, who was making his way down the nearest tunnel-hallway at that point. "You asshole!" he roared at his back.

"See you tonight!" Pitch called back cheerily, then vanished through the floor.

...

No amount of fun and/or mischief Jack could've spread in one day could make him completely forget how mad he was at Pitch that day, but it did help lighten his mood until he got back.

When he did, he found a long dark stripe apparently painted into the floor starting at the entrance that hadn't been there that morning. Jack followed it through the caverns until he came to the door of Pitch's room. It was ajar, and he nudged it open with his staff.

The line ended at the bedside. Jack rolled his eyes. He didn't consider himself very high-maintainance, but come on. They guy teased-and-denied him and left him tied up for ten hours. He felt like he was entitled to a little spoiling here.

"HA!"

Jack would've jumped out of his skin if he hadn't been in somebody's arms. Said arms dumped him onto Pitch's mattress as soon as he'd been lifted.

Speaking of Pitch, his self-satisfied chuckled echoed around the room. Jack didn't think he was so funny.

"Would you knock it off?!"

Pitch suddenly rolled over him, even though he hadn't been lying next to him a second ago. "Not until it stops being hilarious" he quipped back, "So... No, probably never."

Pitch smothered Jack's intended retort with a kiss. The younger spirit sighed into it and brought his hands up to Pitch's shoulders. Pitch broke the kiss first and ran a hand through Jack's hair.

"You're going to have to be quiet tonight," he told him, "or else I might decide not to be completely selfless."

He shrugged out of his coat, just because he knew Jack liked to look, and shoved the boy's sweatshirt over his head, kissing him while his arms were still stuck in it. When it was on the floor where it belonged, he reach between Jack's spread legs and palmed his sudden erection through his pants. Jack moaned into Pitch's mouth and grabbed at his shoulders again. Pitch removed his hand in response and removed Jack's hands, pinning them securely in place over his head.

"Ah ah ah, I said quiet" he warned him lightly, "You wouldn't want a repeat of last night, would you?"

"I'm sorry" Jack panted, "I'll be quiet, just please, don't-"

"Easy, boy" Pitch ran this thumb over Jack's lower lip. He ducked his head down to the boy's chest and drew one of his soft nipples into his mouth. Jack shuddered and clung to the pillow under his hands, nearly straining his back as he arched up into Pitch's mouth.

Pitch pulled away from him when he did.

"You can still touch me, you know" he reminded him, then went back to circling his tongue around his nipple. Jack eagerly clung to his hair, pulling him closer or farther back as he needed.

When his first nipple had been sufficiently hardened, Pitch switched his attention to the other, this time with the added bonus of his hand between Jack's legs. The boy gulped a yelp down and humped into his touches until he felt the dark spirit start to peel his bottoms off his legs. He shifted his hips and bent his knees to aid in the process, and then found himself pulled back up to kiss Pitch again while the dark spirit closed his hand around his cock _Oh God..._

He had to stop kissing Pitch in favor of gasping, otherwise he would've made noise and Pitch would've stopped _and if Pitch stopped... _Pitch left nippy little kisses on the edge of his throat rather than complain.

Pitch let go of him suddenly and set him back into the pillows. Jack had enough time to sit up curiously and watch Pitch swallow his dick into the back of his throat.

He inhaled in shock and dug his fingers into the sheets. Pitch had made it very clear that he didn't like his hair being pulled. He didn't mind Jack yanking his head closer when he actually came, but that was all.

God, it was so intense when he couldn't make noise; like everything he felt didn't have anywhere else to go. Ergo, he wasn't going to last long. Like, at all.

"_Pitch_" he gasped, digging the heels of his palms into his scalp, a warning. Pitch caught his wrists in one hand and sucked him hard.

That was all she wrote.

Jack gasped again and arched his back. He didn't feel the actual ejaculation as much as Pitch swallowing while he was still in his mouth. Pitch held him in place until the last few aftershocks had finished off, then plunked himself down next to Jack's semi-conscious body, reclining on his side with his smug head in his hand.

"So, Jack," he traced his finger back and forth across the younger spirit's chest, "How well do you think the rabbit would have matched up to that, with those freakish rodent teeth of his?"

Jack pulled a face at him, yawned and rolled onto his side away from Pitch. Pitch laughed; It was too much fun to poke at Jack when he had no argument. He tucked Jack back against his chest in the crook of his arm, tugged the blankets up and fell asleep with his nose in the boy's hair.

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**A/N: Does anybody else think it's funny to hear Pitch calling someone else's teeth freakish?**


End file.
